Edward Thomas Ryan, a man who lived a secret life, revealed his true self to the world in a deeply personal obituary. Ryan, who passed away at the age of 85, took the opportunity to share his lifelong struggle with his sexuality. Published on June 8 in the Albany Times Union, the obituary surprised many with its heartfelt confession.

The obituary began with the usual details of Ryan's life, including his name, academic achievements, and career information. However, it quickly diverged from the traditional format, as Ryan shared an intimate passage in the first person. "I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life," he wrote. Apologizing for not having the courage to come out earlier, Ryan expressed his fear of being ostracized by family, friends, and coworkers, witnessing the mistreatment of people like him.

Ryan's coming out revelation has resonated with people around the world, particularly because it was made at the beginning of Pride Month. In addition to proclaiming his sexual identity after his passing, Ryan also shared the story of his 25-year-long relationship with Paul Cavagnaro, his partner who tragically passed away in 1994 after a medical procedure went wrong. "He was the love of my life," Ryan wrote, speaking tenderly of their time together.

While Ryan's niece, Linda Sargent, acknowledged that her uncle was a private person, she considered herself fortunate to have been one of the few he let into his life. Sargent recalled how Ryan would attend family gatherings alone during her childhood, but they grew closer as she became an adult, bonding over their shared involvement in volunteering at the American Legion post in Rensselaer, New York.

Ryan's sexuality was something of an open secret within the family, with some suspecting but not knowing for sure. Cavagnaro's nephew, Chris Maloy, shared that while their relationship was understood within the family, it was not openly discussed. The couple maintained their privacy by driving separate cars and hiding their relationship by living in the countryside.

Ryan's fear of coming out stemmed from the potential repercussions it could have on his relationship with Cavagnaro, his career as a firefighter, and the threat of physical violence. Despite these concerns, Ryan managed to maintain a positive attitude throughout his life. Known for his love of cooking, he was celebrated for his culinary skills at the American Legion post and the fire department where he volunteered for over 17 years.

Tom Tiernan, a fellow firefighter and friend of Ryan's for 30 years, expressed his utmost admiration for Ryan's character and was oblivious to his friend's sexual orientation. "All I knew was that he was one of us, and it didn't matter," Tiernan said. Ryan eventually came out to his niece, Sargent, in a heartfelt conversation, and a few years later, he sought her opinion on including his sexual orientation in his obituary. Sargent supported him wholeheartedly, and Ryan proceeded to write his own obituary, entrusting Sargent and her husband with its publication.

Ryan's obituary touched many individuals beyond his immediate circle. Albany native Michael Casey shared Ryan's story on social media, emphasizing the importance of living without fear and expressing gratitude for Ryan's courage. The obituary ended with Ryan conveying his sense of peace now that his secret is known, as he hoped to forever rest in peace.

Edward Thomas Ryan's posthumous revelation has sparked conversations about the struggles faced by LGBTQ+ individuals throughout history. By sharing his truth in his obituary, Ryan has left a lasting impact on those who knew him, as well as those who have now come to know his story. His bravery in embracing his true self serves as a reminder that it is never too late to live authentically and find peace within oneself.